Making Decisions From Your Higher Self vs. Your Ego

And the Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Choose

We make hundreds of decisions each day. Some are small, like what to eat for lunch, and others have the power to shape the course of our lives. But have you ever noticed how different a decision feels when it comes from your Higher Self versus your ego?

One tends to feel expansive, clear, and deeply aligned, while the other often feels tight, urgent, or driven by fear.

Understanding this difference can help you choose with more wisdom and peace.

What Is the Higher Self?

Your Higher Self is the wise, loving, unshakable part of you that sees beyond fear, lack, or the need for approval. It’s connected to your intuition, your values, and the bigger picture of your life.

Who we are here on Earth is just a small drop of who we actually are. My teacher, Robert Detzler, used to say that who we are in the physical body is just .001% of who we truly are. The other vast aspect of us is what we call the Higher Self.

When you decide from your Higher Self, you often feel:

• Calm clarity (even if the choice is bold)

• A deep knowing in your body

• Patience

• A sense of rightness that’s not about winning or proving

What Is the Ego?

The ego is not “bad.” It’s the part of your mind designed to keep you safe and help you navigate the world. But it can get overprotective and reactive. The ego often makes decisions based on:

• Fear of failure or rejection

• Need for control or validation

• Comparison to others

• Short-term relief over long-term alignment

When a decision is ego-driven, you might notice:

• Urgency or panic

• Overthinking or mental loops

• Worry about what others will think

• Attachment to a specific outcome

Note: There’s a common belief that the ego is “bad” and that we shouldn’t “be in ego.” But in truth, ego can be a teacher when we bring awareness to it. When the ego is activated, it can be a sign that we’re holding resistance or fear around a decision.

When I feel my ego rise up, I like to pause, identify it, and use it as a tool for deeper self-reflection. For example:

• If I notice my ego clinging to what others might think, it usually means I’m carrying a hidden fear of judgment that needs compassion.

• If I sense urgency or desperation, it often points to fear of missing out…which tells me I need to slow down and reconnect to what I truly value.

In this way, ego isn’t the enemy; it’s a mirror.

Questions to Ask Before You Decide

When you’re standing at a decision point, whether about relationships, career, finances, or personal growth, try pausing and asking yourself:

1. Am I choosing out of love or fear?

   Fear-based choices often shrink possibilities. Love-based choices tend to expand them.

2. If I trusted everything would work out, what would I choose?

   This helps bypass the ego’s need for control.

3. How does my body feel when I imagine each option?

   Tightness and constriction often signal ego. Openness and groundedness often signal Higher Self.

4. Am I trying to prove something with this choice?

   If the answer is yes, check if it’s ego seeking validation.

5. Would I be at peace with this choice if no one ever knew about it?

   The Higher Self doesn’t need applause, only alignment.

6. Does this choice align with the person I want to become in 5 years?

   Your Higher Self often thinks long-term. The ego tends to focus on the immediate.

How to Strengthen Higher-Self Decision Making

• Pause before acting. Give your intuition space to speak.

• Ground yourself. Breathwork, meditation, or a quick walk can help you drop into a calmer state.

• Release the need to “get it right.” Your Higher Self sees growth in every outcome.

• Listen to whispers, not shouts. The ego shouts in urgency, but the Higher Self often whispers.

Final Thought

Both your ego and your Higher Self are parts of you. The goal is not to silence the ego completely, but to notice when it’s steering and consciously hand the wheel back to the part of you that’s rooted in truth, love, and trust.

Every decision is a doorway. When you choose from your Higher Self, you step into more alignment, more peace, and more of who you truly are.

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